I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
