...so i touched it.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
