I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
