I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
A+ Viking dick
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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