he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
They took my balls.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
