How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
