the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
