What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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