He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
