She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
