Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
