and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She even gives head with a lisp.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
