i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
