We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
