i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
