Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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