He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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