Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
