this just has baby written all over it
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
