Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
