He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
NoShamevember. You game?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
