so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
