In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
