Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
