Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
