Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
organizing the empties. That sober.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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