operation have a gay friend backfired
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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