I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
