Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think a kid would responsible me up
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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