I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
