did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
