What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Who wears a wallet chain?!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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