you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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