who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
