I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
