I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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