Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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