so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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