Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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