remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
