I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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