maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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