is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
