You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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