the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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