You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
