I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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