Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
