then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I want to fling myself into the sun
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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