I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
