if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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