I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How external is "for external use only"?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
