walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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