I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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