omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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