please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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